Returning with a slower pace and peace of mind

It has been more than 2 years since I last left words here.  It is time for me to walk back into this sphere of personal expression, to speak with it again.  But this time, I returned with a transformed heart and a tranquil mind. I have had 6 months of rest from the rat race in Singapore's worklife and more importantly being away from the drilling, encaving living of being in the company I worked for in past 2.5 years! After 2.5 years with the company, I reached a stage of hopelessness and exhaustion. I finally realized that if I continue I soon will have a total burnt-out and will have difficulties in returning to normal life.

The decision to quit wasn't easy. In addition to concern with continuous income, I was more concerned with the team I will leave behind.  All 5 of them, except one, were relatively new graduates having only but about 1 year of work experience.  But they are the best group of people to work with!  They are handpicked by me to form a team that compliments each other's strength and weakness; forming a close-knitted and formidable alliance that had excel in performance and work standard beyond the bosses' expectation! I have aimed this team to reach international MNC's standard and indeed it was achieved!

With the decision to go, I will leave behind my beloved team.  I weighed the situation against the good of me staying and decided it is not any more advantageous even if I stayed.  The team has grown in skill, creativity and independence during the year we worked together! They are ready to spread their wings and take the sky!  And, they did!  3 of them left the company a few months after me, almost all of them had an upward job jump!  I am proud of them all - courage and aspiration of those who left, as well as resilience and resolution of those who remains in the grinding of the same company.


For me, I have slowed down, taking time to smell the flowers, adopted a pet dog (which I immensely love!), and catching up on books I have always wanted to read but have no time! I did not know that
there is actually life beyond working!  The world looks kinder in this new hue, people seems alive and not just props to the hurried world I was previously in!!  By stepping aside for the hurried working folks, I get a chance to observe how like them, I have eroded my life time and depleted my energy and suffocated my soul, at times, to satisfy the few madly unstable men and women at the helm!! I must be as crazy to allow myself to flow in that direction!!!  Now taking stock of the damage, I took a path of recovery, to reach tranquility and achieve peace. I spent most time with Jesus who restored me and brought me to a place of divine serenity. I have reached paradise, here on earth!!

Rationalizing for not walking out.....

In all relationship, it is a 2-way traffic. You give your utmost sincerity and commitment, and will expect to be reciprocated with somewhat the same. If what you have put into your work, is undiscounted hard-work, sincerest dedication to bringing the best results to the job and to the company, and going beyond the call of duty with the best interest of the company in mind. If that is not call dedication, then, I do not know what is!

I get in exchange a pay package that is not hugely inline with market's standard, and will all the good effort and proven good results, being questioned on work in progress without believing that in the end, the best results are delivered as usually so.

Sadly, for friendship's sake, I am trying to rationalize on not walking out of the job....!

Suspended in hopelessness......

Ever felt like you have worn tons of iron while walking towards your workplace? If yes, then, you must have hated your job as much as I hated the company I am working in. Don't get me wrong, i love what i'm doing. It is filled with challenges that are enough to fill my day and unpredictability fills the job with excitment. But its the way business is conducted and at the highest level that eroded all excitment and any interesting bits left of an otherwise fulfilling work. Ever faced with bosses who panic with near emotional meltdown when a problem became overwhelmingly beyond their ability to handle? Or bosses who arrogantly mess up a customer relation that you painstakingly rescuing and gaining precious steps of reconcilation and resolution? And how about bosses who throw every corporate challenges at you and your team just because you had proven the ability to solve the crisis; only to find that when you and your team are facing your own challenges, you are left alone to handle and resolve? Is it not time to walk out?

Sulking.....

I almost have a morbid fear of people who sulks! But i am always surrounded by people like that, at home, at work, and among friends! Wish these people knows their sulking depresses others and makes an otherwise good day, bad! They spoilt the day for themselves but also for those around them. Why bother to hang out with another just to spoil their mood and disposition? I can't handle such a damper, anymore.... come on! Life is short, make the best of time and sunshine! Make hay while the sun shine.... stop sulking and live a full life! There are more rotten eggs in life to handle, there is really no need for more rotten eggs to be thrown into your face by friend or relatives! Lucky i can hide behind the big person of Jesus!

My nuggets of small happenings...

What happens around you, often passed without your notice. But there are lots of small and insignificance that happens around once take notice will adds flavour to life! I started this blog to observe my surroundings: sniffing the varied "fragrance" and "stench" of people around me, and nuggets of precious as well as hateful moments! This is life, full of surprises and niceties all at the same time!